life through a lens

                              

we were home for fathers day weekend and I documented our poor dogs first “real” swimming lesson.  (my dad took her back in march when the river was…I don’t know…like…40 degrees and she got slightly hypothermic and my dad had to “save her life” as he put it)  She wasn’t very keen on it and kept trying to swim to shore while my dad held onto her leash.  He kept saying “you have to let her struggle before she wants to swim”.  I don’t know if Cesar Milan would approve of his approach but it made for some interesting photographs.  Even had her give a high five for effort.  Hubs is planning on taking her to some local ponds soon to help her ease into the life of an aquatic dog.  Damn thing is already a dissapointment…not really but kind of.  We were told, and she was free so it really doesn’t matter, she was a rottweiler mix.  I really wanted a hippie long haired golden retriever.  He wants rotts.  Well I am not about to shell out 500+ for a dog, that money can go somewhere else, so we decided to take her.  Definitely NOT getting past the 40 pound mark…and she is over six months old.  Maybe…MAYBE she will reach 45 to 50 but I doubt it.  And that is a sign she is not really a rott mix…oh well.

When green is all there is to be

I am all about being as green as I can.  I have this philosphy that what you put on your body should be as important as what you put into it.  Being completely organic can pull strongly at coin purses but I try to buy what we eat most organically.  Our milk, cheeses, chicken, eggs, butter, juices, baking products, cleaning products and even ice cream are all either organic, 99% percent all natural, free range/pesticide/hormone free.  I’ll give you a quick study on the benefits of buying organically. 

 First look at hormones.  Your body creates hormones naturally.  The meat industry will give their livestock artificial hormones and steroids because certain hormones can make young animals gain weight faster.   When the livestock grows faster there is a quicker turn around of the product.  Dairy cows are given hormones to increase their milk production.   There is no regulation currently to control the amount of artificial hormones and steroids to livestock.  What can be done is testing of the meat once it has been harvested and FSIS monitirs the amount of residual hormones/steroids left in meat.   There is a concern now among the public that the added artificial hormones/steriods in livestock products can cause young girls to enter puberty earlier-before the age of 8, .    This can increase the risk of vaginal cancer and enlargment of breasts.   Adults can also be at an increased risk of cancer when they continually drink milk with added growth hormones.  There is also an environmental impact from the hormones.  Cows shit.  Chickens shit.  When the manure enters the surrounding environment the hormones contaminate water sources and affect aquatic ecosystems.  This can throw off the natural balance in the ecosystem, cause algae blooms and the reproductivity of fish.   Here is a result of a study I read.  “A study of cows treated with melengestrol acetate (one of the artificial growth hormones approved for use in the U.S.) revealed that residues of this hormone were traceable in soil up to 195 days after being administered to the animals.”  Just a little taste of what is found in meat. 

               

So the past few years (well ever since High School when my best friends mom turned me onto organic milk) I have shifted as much of the groceries into my house from mass produced to locally grown/fair trade/organic products.  It has leaked into my body products and cleaning supplies.  Currently I am using green cleaning products but my goal is when I have used them up to save the bottles and start making my own.  Using vinegar or tea tree oil is an effective way to clean your kitchen or bathroom without introducing more harmful chemicals into the environment.  Tea tree oil also has the added benefit of being able to kill bacteria without building their immunity.  You will never see me cleaning with anything that has a label on it advertising that it kills 99 percent of harmful bacteria or using antibacterial gels on my hands.  I believe that you need bacteria to maintain a healthy body so why would I kill the good ones while making the bad ones more immune?  Soap and water are more than effective enough to clean your hands.

   here is a link for some of the recipes I have tried for cleaning products http://organizedhome.com/pantry-recipes-homemade-cleaning-products

Anyways, back to the topic.  (I am really passionate about being “green” and it is something that I have been researching since I was fifteen.)  There has been an influx lately of body products on the market that advertise as handmade organic products.  Now being green doesn’t mean being made cheaply or haphazardly or without proper research.  It takes a lot of skill and hardwork to create a product that is both beneficial to you, the environment and your wallet.  I have fallen into the traps before of buying handmade products only to have them made outside of a proper lab and break out my skin or cause peeling on my feet or not be labeled properly and go bad.  It is as dangerous as eating from a buffet or having someone buy you a drink at a bar.  You really don’t know what you getting, the knowledge of the person or what was used to make it.  Noble idea but not safe for the consumer.  There are too many skin combinations out there and what may work for you that you made in your kitchen that you then sell to someone can completely break them out in pimples or a rash and you can be sued.  I shop alot and I go to a lot of different malls/websites/farmers markets.  Take Burts Bees.  Mass produced product, made organically but not exactly fairly priced.  I get a little angry when I find an organic product and its four to five dollars more than neutrogena.  Especially when it is available in Halmark.  Not really fair.  So I take that into account as well.  By far the best priced items I have found that maintain high standards for themselves is LUSH.  Found it completely by accident.  It is a large company, you can find it in malls, but it is the most faily priced product that is guaranteed made by hand in a lab by people that have done their research and gotten degrees.  I stand completely behind the idea of getting a degree in what you want to do.  No matter how tough it is, get the knowledge before you do the work because otherwise you have untested products in the community.  The majority of LUSH products are made solid (the soaps, body butters, shampoos, bubble baths…) so that there is no packaging pricing involved.  You get your products in a little recycled bag that is great to put in your clothing drawers to keep your clothes smelling fresh.  What is in a package is made from recycled material and they offer you the deal of bringing back  your empty jars to the store for money off of your purchase.   Not to mention most of their products have multiple purposes.  The massage bars double as an awesome lotion.  And if you are vegan (pretty sure my one vegan friend has gone back to dairy) they also offer vegan products.  The Hubs always has to mention when we go into the local LUSH store that he just wants to eat everything on display.

             

I myself plan on collecting the jars and using them for small plants.  I have gotten my mom hooked on the products because she is already talking Christmas.

I also love Kiehls.  The company has been around since the 1800′s and even though everything does come in a jar or bottle its all recyclable material.  The best lotion I have had to save my face from a suburn is a Kiehls lotion.  I also the the liteweight mosturizer daily on my face.  It can be a little pricey but it is more speacialized products and while not completely organic they are made with the consumers needs in mind with making as little of an impact on the environment as possible.

     

This whole being green thing is 10 years in the making for me.  The hubs just kind of goes along with it.  I guess he is starting to see some of the nutritional benefits and if I were to buy him a solid shampoo bar he would use it because it’s there.  In the end my goal is just to make as little of an impact on the environment as possible.  I know I won’t be having my own home anytime soon, but I am researching green ways to build a home and as I learn more I’ll put it up here.  I don’t stand behind every green idea.  Prius.  Great idea.  But they don’t really tell you the battery life is between 5-10 years and a new battery…just as expensive as a new car.  Some of the lightbulbs advertised as energy efficient can take 10 minutes to fully light a room, and that is just annoying.  (Should see the ones in my bathroom at my parents house…makes it difficult to put on makeup)

Making an Apartment a Home

One of the things that can get me slightly upset is the realization of the life I am going to have.  I really do love my moronic hubs but when I actually think about the fact that I am now a “military wife” I get a little sadfaced because that means moving every few years and not settling into a house to make a home.  Right now our space is filled with furniture and a mish mash of design elements that I am slowly pulling together.

I hate themed rooms and if you have one and I have walked into your home just know I probably talked shit about it as I left because I think buying for a theme is ridiculous.  In five years when you no longer want a nautical themed living room what are you going to do with all the shit you bought to cordinate?  Instead of developing your own taste you went with a theme that was easy to buy/paint for and I feel sorry for you because it is all a conspiracy created by the CEOs of housware stores.  They know you want a themed room so they fill their stores with easy to find nautical crap and you fill your cart and five years down the road when they change their store to shabby country chic crap you are going to have to buy a whole new house full of crap.   I also hate knick knacks.  Those cheap figurines people buy to fill up space rather than investing in art or matching frames (I also will talk shit if you have a house full of mismatched frames because that is just lazy and tacky).  My apartment isn’t perfect but it isn’t filled with crap either.  I would rather have eclectic taste that can be moved from room to room and costs a little bit more than a ton of crap that isn’t worth anything in a few years.  I decorate based on colors. 

I started by hanging art.  Bare walls are depressing so I have scattered some of my art around.  Most of it is graphic art that is monochromatic so the fact that we have white walls means the art won’t clash.  I am slowly getting more of my art framed but having something on the walls is better than nothing.  I have this bookcase my dad made for me when I was a youngster.  Rather than hide it away like it has been for years filled with books, I pulled it out into the living room and we are using it for dvds (complete tv series), my books, pictures and our little bamboo plant.  I am going to refinish it this summer.  I don’t think I have painted it since  we lived in Poquoson so it is time for a fresh coat.  I am pretty sure, meaning not quite but most likely, going to want a green living room.  I just think the color green, when done right, can be so refreshing.  So it is fairly likely I am going to paint it a light mint green.   The bane of my existence is Phillip’s entertainment center he bought on a whim.  It’s huge, it’s heavy and it won’t survive another move.  It won’t even survive a move into the parking lot for me to repaint it.  I guess I want the room to feel lived in and that means staying away from clean/modern pieces and going with items that have a bit of an 0ld world/rustic feel.  Complete modern rooms tend to feel a little cold to me.  All straight lines can be boring and my biggest thing is I want pieces that when we move, I can make whatever space we are in feel like a lived in home. 

                      

The kitchen is the easiest.  We are doing a red and black which happened by accident.  Had the red/black microwave and accidentally picked up plates and bowls that matched and now it’s something that I am pretty picky about though the hubs just shrugs his shoulders.  I have hung a wet on wet acrylic painting I did of a still life of apples because the primary colors are different shades of red and it fits perfectly on a wall above our kitchen table.  If I hadn’t hung our calendar to keep track of our schedules next to the sink prior to this spring I would have also hung this awesome handmade clock we were given that is red/black there as well. 

Our bedroom is mostly greens/browns.  It cordinates with the shower curtain in the master bath as well.  I wanted it dark enough that it is relaxing at night but comfortable enough to hang out in during the day.  We have these two dressers that do not match at all.  The paint I odered should be on it’s way to fix that.  I am going to sand both down and refinish them.  Phillips is going to become a rich brown and mine is going to become a minty green (will match book case so if I ever want to move it back into my room, it won’t look bad (see portable design is the best way to go).  I’m adding a variety of knobs to mine.  Make it a little more artistic and bring in more colors and like hidden treasures, people will appreciate them when they find them.  Most of the furniture we have is from Ikea.  Sturdy enough the dog doesn’t break it but cheap enough that we have a decent amount.  I even found our duvet cover there.   It has the colors I was looking for, its not floral, its not nautical, its not shabby chic.  The idea of flowers doesn’t mean I have to further cordinate my room with more flowers…Phillip wouldn’t let me anyways.  Basically it was soft and it had the colors I wanted.  Both our light sheets and our dark sheets go with it.  I am planning on making a headboard to hang behind the bed this fall.  I would do it this summer but with Hubs leaving this fall for 8 months of training it is something I can do on the weekends and not go out and waste money.  My goal is to install wherever we spend more than a year some of the Ikea wardrobes on either side of our bed and clear up space in our room for a chair and maybe one dresser.  I just think it makes a master room look more…masterly than a bunch of dressers.  The plus with Ikea is they are everywhere so if we do end up moving to Eurpoe it won’t be any hassel getting what I need.

                  

The final room I want to do something with in the right now (most likely we are going to be in the current apartment through October of next year) is our sunroom.  Right now it’s filled with a a computer chair, a big fat round chair and two extra dining room chairs, my art supplies and left over wedding supplies.  My top priority is to get a desk into the room.  The desk I really want, and will accept no other, is a leaning desk.  It doubles as a book case and a computer desk which is double the pleasure.  I have a ton of books, I am getting back into school *fingers crossed* and it is like a work of art.  Plus it takes up just one side of the sunroom, instead of a traditional desk that can take up half a room this size, leaving me still space for my art supplies and one of the chairs.  

 

It is tough wanting more than the resources you have.  I have found that thrift stores and antique stores are great places to shop.  You find furniture that may seem like a lost cause but with a sander and a fresh coat of paint it is something unique and all your own.

Just call me a Bitch already

There are somethings I realize I will never understand.  Human nature is one of them.  And how quickly people can turn on each other.  I will raise my hand first and admit that I am not always the best or the kindest person.  It can be hard to be my friend.  I have the tendency to sometimes disappear for periods of time.  I can be overly judgmental and talk too frankly.  I see the worst in people before I see the best.  But lets flip that coin.  I am also extremely loyal to those that deserve it.  The friends I have I have had for a LONG time.  I find it hard to make strong friendships and the two girls I depend on the most are the ones that have been there the longest (and unfortunately also live the farthest away from me).  These aren’t the types of friendships that need constant encouragement and attention.  I just know they are always there for me, they know I am there for them.  They are easy friendships and I can count on them to hang on the phone for hours when I need to vent and they know they can do the same to me.

What I am trying to understand is how quickly women can just turn on each other.  You would think that history would have taught us lessons in remaining loyal and to proving your trust and providing trust.  But it seems that given a chance most women would rather turn on someone, either to their face or behind their back, more quickly than sticking by someone.  I to have been guilty of this.  Sometimes it is easier to just start talking shit about someone rather than sticking with them through whatever it is that is making the friendship hard at that particular moment.

I lost what I thought was a solid friendship a few years ago because I was made to feel that I had to choose between the person I was dating (now my husband) and this friend.  At the time I was enrolled in school full time, had a part time job, and only saw my boyfriend on what weekends he was able to make it home from Fayettenam.  He is military and was deploying every four months at this time so when he was home it was my priority to spend time with him and I don’t regret it.  But this friend of mine would call me during an already stressful period of my life and complain that I wasn’t making time for her and tell me in no uncertain words that I was losing my self in my relationship.  Yes you have to make time for your friends.  But friends also need to be understanding of circumstances that you are going through.  Or maybe it is me.  I don’t push and pull at my friends for their attention.  And I don’t appreciate being pushed and pulled at.  I do expect my friends to be understanding of my schedule, because I am of theirs, and allow each other the space we need to have healthy relationships.  Needless to say when made to feel like I had to choose one or the other I am now married to that boyfriend.

And what is it with weddings and women?  I have been both a bridesmaid and a bride and I haven’t been able to wrap my head around how women think it is ok to loose their minds during a wedding.  It can be the MOB who uses a daughters wedding to plan “her own”, a pushy MOG who is purposefully malicious and can ruin the planning process, an overly stressed out bride who turns into a bridezilla or a cranky bridesmaid who talks behind peoples back.

I would like to think that I was a complete bridechilla.  It all was planned to quickly and the majority of the planning was taking place at my mothers house, 4 hours from mine, so I was a little detached from the whole process to get to stressed out about it.  What I did care about I didn’t have to make scenes for.  Simple phone conversations with my mom about flowers and cake flavors was enough.  Was it the wedding I thought I would have in a French Garden at dusk in my Italian wedding dress?  No.  Was it what Phillip and I thought was best for us and our different families, yes.

Everything wasn’t rainbows and sunshine.  I did have certain family members that made the planning process overly stressful on both the hubs and I.  It was malicious and mean and ruined most of the planning for me and I did depend on my MOH and BM and friends a lot to comfort me and make me laugh and generally just let me vent on the phone.  I had a beautiful bridal shower courtesy of my MOH that just my family and a close friend came to and I was all geared up for some major girl time come the day before and the morning of the wedding.  I demanded nothing of anyone.  My MOH and BM picked out their own clothes with just color suggestions from me.  I didn’t really care what I did the night before and just kind of told everyone I was playing it by ear.  All I wanted of the days was to enjoy the beach, enjoys some drinks, listen to loud music and dance and laugh and take stupid pictures with the people around me.  I didn’t know that people were expecting certain actions out of me and that I was letting them down.  Because I demanded nothing out of anyone I spent my time the day before the wedding and the day of with the people that wanted to just relax and have a good time like me.  And that turned out to be my two closest friends.  I wasn’t expecting to hear people talking about me behind my back the day of the wedding.  Judging my actions and complaining.  I didn’t feel like I had to make anyone do anything.  But did I expect people to go with the flow, help out my mom with the food the day of…YES (thank you I spent the entire week there before the wedding with just her and her best friend doing this, I think others could handle it the day of the wedding).  I guess what ended up being most hurtful was going on facebook two days later and seeing remarks being made about me from people that were at the wedding being posted during the reception and the the day after.  I learned as a bridesmaid that it is not about your feelings.  Its not about judging the bride.  Its about keeping your mouth shut and whatever you feel is disrespectful behavior by the bride gets pushed aside because it is her day and in the moment of a wedding and a reception it is one big whirlwind and the bride gets all caught in it and its even hard for her to remember what few moments she may have had alone with her new husband during the reception, let alone passing comments she may have made to her MOH and BMs.  I couldn’t believe it when I was being criticized for how I spent my wedding day.  I may not have gone to every single person during the reception because I focused on a few people I don’t see often, one a family I worked for and the other a former co-worker.  And I didn’t ask anything of anyone.  I didn’t order people around during a bachelorette party (because I didn’t have one), I didn’t have people dressing alike because I thought it would look cool, I didn’t tell people they had to do this and that with me, so I guess in the end I did what made my day easier and less stressful and more entertaining for me and thought everyone else was doing the same.  Am I guilty of getting caught up in the moment and looking over people, yes, am I sorry about it, yes.  I can’t take it back and it was done from a malicious point of view.  But I certainly didn’t expect to read about it on facebook when I got home.  I felt like I was highly overlooked the day of my wedding.  No one was feeding me mimosas while I got my hair done and taking a tone of pictures, people were already done with their makeup while I was setting up a bathroom for all the girls to get ready in, people were telling me to leave the kitchen and then complaining that I wasn’t helping.  People bitched I didn’t leave the resort we spent the night at early to help clean up the house when it was my husband and I that stayed with my parents and helped them pack their cars and clean the house after everyone else left six hours before.  Maybe I am just resentful that technology was thrown into my face and I was reading about what people said and getting texts about my behavior two days after my wedding when no one can tell you what I was thinking when I was a bridesmaid.  The same respect wasn’t shown to me and that’s disappointing.  I expected more from people.  Unfortunately my relationships with some of my family, some of the only family members that I talked to outside of holidays and that I really enjoyed, have now suffered.  It could be one giant misunderstanding but I am hurt by all of it.  Everyone was caught up in the day and there was a lack of communication on both ends but once again, girls have turned on each other.  Rather than talk to me, technology was used in a hurtful way.  This is one reason why I have a love/hate relationship with facebook.  Everything is put out there and people don’t think of the consequences of it.  Texting is wearing thin with me.  At this point its just an excuse not to call someone.